Odd Couple Alert: Jeremy Piven and Pink

The New York Post is reporting that Jeremy Piven and Pink were seen getting hot and heavy on the dance floor at Green Door in LA on Tuesday night.

Their reps deny it, but the Piv's rep says, "Jeremy says she is a friend, a good woman."

To paraphrase Joe Piscopo as Frank Sinatra on Saturday Night Live, I think Pink has chunks of guys like Jeremy Piven in her stool. She is seriously scary.

Hair's Looking At You, Jude

Hey Jude Law,

It's time to admit that you're losing the battle against male pattern baldness.

Either you call William Shatner and find out who makes the squirrel he wears on his head, or you reach out to Jeremy Piven for the phone number of the doctor who put in his hair plugs.

But please, for the love of God, don't go all Billy Zane chrome dome on us!

I Like John Cusack When He's Wet

I'm sure other people have noticed this but I was just watching High Fidelity again and saw the scene where he's standing in a phone booth in the rain and remembered a similar scene in Say Anything (where he risks electrocution, too). John Cusack looks yummy when he's soaking wet.

BTW what has happened to John Cusack's face? Is it a receding hairline, or a visible sign of his disappointment over his most recent film roles? Seriously, they blow. Lloyd Dobler shouldn't do horror movies. Period.

And why isn't he friends with the Piv anymore? I have a secret fear that Cusack is a douche. But more than likely it's the Piv who's a douche. Oh, who am I kidding they could both be douches and I'd still like to be in the filling in a Piv/Cusack sandwich. Double yummy.

I saw the man who should be president (I'd take U.S. citizenship for the chance to vote) in the flesh more than 20 years ago and it is forever seared into my memory. I was in LA, sitting in the bar at the Mondrian where my friend Joey was bartending. A guy who was a stockbroker from NYC was there coked off his head and he thought I was a prostitute. Ha, ha! And being naive and twentysomething, I didn't even realize it at first. Anway, Cusack and Robert Downey Jr. came into the bar. Both wearing Lloyd Dobler-style long coats. I nearly slid off my bar stool. In retrospect I wonder if they came in to score coke from Joey. They were there for a few minutes and then they left. And I missed my chance, dammit!