Michael Phelps Really Wants To Be Like Mark Spitz

Either that or he's looking at a new career in porn.

Kristen Stewart Really Does Look Like Joan Jett

Amazing what a haircut and some black dye can do.

Catherine Zeta Jones Pregnant?

I think I spy a baby bump.

Today Alaska, Tomorrow Hollywood!

Alaska's Rat Island is finally rat-free, 229 years after a Japanese shipwreck spilled rampaging rodents onto the remote island, decimating the local bird population.

After dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats and some birds have returned, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Next on the list for the Fish and Wildlife Service's rat eradication program? Tinseltown.

Watch out, Speidi!

Sarah Palin Is Totally Lacking The Humor Gene

Oh spare me. Sarah Palin has climbed back on her soapbox this week and is crying foul over a joke that David Letterman made about her daughter.
Letterman devoted his Top 10 earlier this week to the Palins’ visit to NYC and joked about them being at a baseball game where their daughter got knocked up by A-Rod.

I, like most other people, immediately assumed he was talking about Bristol, the 18-year-old who got knocked up by her boyfriend, had a baby and subsequently split with said baby daddy. And I laughed.

But I, like most other people, was wrong. It was one of the Palins' other daughters, Willow, 14, who was at the baseball game.

Honest mistake, if you ask me.

After all everyone knows the Palins have a daughter who’s a single mom, but what do we know about their other children, apart from one having Down’s Syndrome? Not so much.

And the two sisters look very much alike.

But Sarah doesn’t believe in excuses unless she’s the one making them up.

“Regardless of which daughter it was — inappropriate,” she said, calling it a “sexist, perverted joke.”

But she didn’t stop there. She claimed “it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman.” Say what? The man made a joke, albeit one in somewhat poor taste, but that doesn’t make him a child molester. Jeez.

Then she told the Today show’s Matt Lauer that he is "extremely naive" if he believes Letterman's "convenient excuse" that his joke was directed at Bristol, claiming it took him several days to come up with that excuse. Lady, Letterman may be many things, but he’s definitely not slow.

While Letterman has addressed his comment, he hasn’t apologized outright. When Matt Lauer asked if she wanted an apology, Sarah said: "I would like to see him apologize to young women across the country for contributing to that, kind of that thread that is throughout our culture that makes it sound like it's OK to talk about young girls in that way. Where it's kind of OK, accepted, and funny to talk about statutory rape. It's not cool. It's not funny."

She also called on “people to start really rising up.” I can see it now, pitchforks and torches outside the Ed Sullivan Theater. Anyone who makes a joke should be shot on sight! We won’t tolerate humor in America!

Then here’s the bit that really peeved me, the governor of Alaska claimed that Letterman’s joke contributed to the “acceptance of abuse of young women.” I see abuse of a young woman here, but it’s her mother who is doing it. Sarah, who has complained about the liberal media’s intrusion into her family life, is pushing her 14-year-old daughter into the spotlight and subjecting her to derision all for the sake of publicity.

If you ask me, there should definitely be an apology, but it should be Sarah apologizing to Willow for selfishly using her to self-promote. To quote Sarah, “It’s not cool. It’s not funny.”

Nia Vardalos Talks Richard Dreyfuss, Jaws and More

I got to ask Nia Vardalos a few questions for my friend Erik's website uinterview.com.