Nooooo! Ian Thorpe Got Fat!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

If my beloved Thorpedo, Ian Thorpe, can get fat, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Yet again I find my faith in God challenged.

I know that Ian quit swimming, but is there any excuse for this?

Especially when he used to look like this.

I mean, look at what his waist used to look like.

I'm crying a little on the inside.

If there is a God, he's going to do the same thing to Michael Phelps.

Note to Self: Never Shake Hands With Mickey Rourke. Ever.

I keep mentally shuddering over this item that I read in the NY Daily News Gatecrasher column yesterday:

"Mickey Rourke was caught with his hand down his pants (and yes, we mean that literally) moments before shaking Kate Winslet's pretty paw."

Argh! Blech! Shudder!

Now I'm thinking that I never want to shake hands with anyone ever again.

I Really Do Think That Angelina Looks Pregnant

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I know I said it last week, but I'm saying it again. Angelina Jolie looks pregnant.

She wore a very loose dress to the SAG awards tonight and when she spoke to Giuliana DePandi, she had her hands clasped in front of her tummy.

And while we're mentioning her talking to Giuliana, obviously Ryan Seacrest and E! kicked up a big fuss after Brangelina gave the American Idol host the cold shoulder at the Golden Globes. So both Ange and Brad Pitt made sure to stop by and talk to E!

Even Brangelina aren't immune to Hollywood pressure! That's simultaneously awe-inspiring and scary.

Behold the power of the Seacrest.

Anyway, back to my baby speculation... Look at what Angie wore to the Paris premiere of Brad's film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Got bump?

I Think Grey's Anatomy Has Jumped The Shark

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I love, love, love Jeffrey Dean Morgan but this "Denny comes back from the dead but he's not alive and he's not a ghost" storyline on Grey's Anatomy seriously blows.

It's as bad as Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) not really being dead on Dallas.

I just knew it was because there was something medically wrong with Izzy, like a brain tumor... Well, Katherine Heigl is totally justified in having been a total bitch lately.

Is Joanna Pacitti Too Famous To Be On American Idol?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I loved Joanna Pacitti's audition tonight. Great voice. But when new judge Kara asked if she'd been signed to A&M Records and Joanna said yes, I decided it was time to Google her.

She has her own Wikipedia page!!! She was fired from Annie on Broadway when she was 11, was featured on MTV's First Year, had songs on the soundtrack of Legally Blonde and the Bratz movie and her song from the Bratz movie, "Out From Under," was covered by Britney Spears on Circus.

And then I found an interview she did with Philly magazine in 2006: Asked if she resents that TV turns wannabes into stars in five months’ time, Pacitti says, “It’s handed to people way too easily. I’d rather have my experience than overnight success.” Despite her major-label record and high-profile pals like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, not everyone understands that in her mind, she’s arrived: “My family said, ‘You should go on American Idol!’”

I think this girl, who does have a great voice, has had more than enough opportunities. I don't think it is fair that she gets another chance with American Idol. The show should be more about the waitress from a small town like Kelly Clarkson or a struggling single mom like Fantasia Barrino. Not someone who's already had a recording contract, released an album, is friends with frickin' Fergie and is dating dancer Mark Ballas from Dancing With the Stars.

Here's her official video for one of her singles, "Let It Slide." (She's all over YouTube, too!)

Madonna's Face Scares Me

Monday, January 19, 2009

This. Is. Not. Attractive.

No how. No way.

All the money in the world won't stop you from aging.

, you need to stop this insanity.

And now for something pretty to help ease the memory of that scary picture.

Shiloh is Gonna Be Pissed If She Gets Angelina's Real Nose

I watched Gia over the weekend and couldn't stop marveling at how different Angelina Jolie looked in the movie.

Her nose!

Look at a young Angie compared to how she looks now.

Big difference, right? I hope Shiloh and the twins all got Brad's nose.

Bump Watch: Does Angelina Look Pregnant?

Is it just me or does Angelina Jolie look like she's a little bloated around the midriff? Could she be–gasp—pregnant again? I wouldn't be surprised. Look at the way the fabric creases under the bump...

I'm not even going to start on the hair.

Say It Isn't So? Emily Wynne-Hughes Cut During Idol's Hollywood Week?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Oh hell no. and are claiming that Emily Wynne-Hughes is getting cut from American Idol during Hollywood week.

They're insinuating that it's because she's wearing an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet stemming from a DUI arrest last year. No! No! No! Why do American Idol contestants have to be so clean and innocent? Can't it just be based on talent???

If that hideous skanky bikini girl Katrina Darrell gets through and Emily doesn't... Well, I just can't think about it or I will break up with Idol again.

PS. Did you know that Emily was working in the tattoo parlor in L.A. when a shaved-headed Britney Spears came in for some fresh ink?

Boy George Sentenced to 15 months in Prison

Friday, January 16, 2009

Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in jail today after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort by handcuffing him to a wall in his London apartment and beating him with a chain.

Oh dear. It almost goes without saying that his prison theme song will be "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?"

My Life Feels Like Renee Zellweger's New In Town

I've lived in the U.S. for almost 11 years and I'll never get used to the cold. Renee Zellweger's movie life seems to be echoing my real life. Again. First Bridget Jones' Diary and now New In Town. It's kind of like one of my all-time favorites, Diane Keaton's Baby Boom without the baby. I like the look of it. And Harry Connick Jr. is in it!

Like Renee in this movie: I never dress appropriately for the cold weather. Don't know how to walk in the snow. Don't know how to drive in the snow. Don't know how to light a fire in the fireplace. Can't pee in the woods.

My American Idol picks so far...Emily Wynne-Hughes, Arianna Afsar, Anoop Desai and more!

Emily Wynne-Hughes. My fave by a mile!!! Apparently had a DUI, so she's not perfect.

Arianna Afsar. Nice quality to voice. She likes helping old people. I doubt there's any skeletons in her closet.

Anoop Desai. Indian power! Needs a makeover, but great voice.

Others I liked (but couldn't find on You Tube): Ashley Anderson, who needs to remember the lyrics next time, and Lil Rounds, definitely a Top 10 contender.

I think the girls might have it this year, especially because they aren't splitting the Top 12 into six guys and six girls :)

I liked Von Smith, too, but he screams too much and that'll get old fast if he doesn't cut it out. He has a great voice and doesn't need to oversell. Look at what he did on The View in 2007. A little too Broadway for Idol I think.

First American Idol "Scandal"? Casey Carlson in a Bikini

I liked Casey Carlson's voice. It makes her chances all the better if she looks good in a bikini.

Artist Andrew Wyeth Has Died

The American artist Andrew Wyeth died in his sleep today. He was 91. He was best known for his 1948 painting "Christina's World," which portrays a crippled woman crawling across a field towards a farmhouse. This painting stirs so many different emotions in me, but the strongest emotion is one of hope.

According to MoMA, which has the painting: The woman crawling through the tawny grass was the artist's neighbor in Maine, who, crippled by polio, "was limited physically but by no means spiritually." Wyeth further explained, "The challenge to me was to do justice to her extraordinary conquest of a life which most people would consider hopeless."

I always imagined her being picked up and saved by a dashingly handsome man on a white horse.

Jason Castro's Brother Has Bad Hair Too

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten over the nightmare that was Jason Castro on American Idol *, he came back tonight with his brother Michael who was auditioning. Michael actually has a better voice than his brother, but he's no Michael Johns or David Cook. And his hair is worse than his brother's. Please, judges, don't let him get past Hollywood Week. And I'm talking to you Kara DioGuardi.

*No, I still haven't forgotten how he massacred "Memory" in front of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Video: Ryan Seacrest High-Fived a Blind Man

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

American Idol is back! I know I swore that I wouldn't watch it again after my favorites were eliminated early last season, but I'm addicted.

Best moment of the night came right at the end of the show when Ryan Seacrest tried to high-five a blind guy who just scored a golden ticket. Hilarious. This is really not Ryan Seacrest's week. First he gets the cold shoulder from Brad and Angelina at the Golden Globes and now this. Watch it and enjoy!


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